This is first time I am writing anything based on the current TV show, ‘THE FLASH’. Savitar will kill Iris West and Barry has known this for quite sometime now along with the other members of Team Flash. Barry tries to change the future he saw and prevent the death of the girl we loves. The future doesn’t change the way Barry and Iris want it to.
When I wrote this, episode 21 of Season 3 just got aired. No spoilers!!
/ “Savitar! Stop! Stop. Please. She’s pregnant. You’ll kill them both!” /
Westallen, romance, heavy angst. one-shot
All the characters are owned by DC, Warner Bros. and CW.
His confrontation with Savitar ends with a broken leg and one pissed off Speed Force.
Barry doesn’t actually know if it’s the Speed Force’s anger coursing through his veins or his own multiplied by ten. Constricted by pain on the ground, Barry can’t flash away as Savitar clambers back into his suit and then walks over and plants a foot on top of Barry’s thigh. The weight increases as Savitar applies more slowly, staring down at him like he’s the prey about to be slaughtered.
Barry’s body writhes on it’s own account, desperately struggling against the foot and trying to get away. Groans escape him as the pain intensifies and he has to bite his lip to prevent himself from screaming and possibly shattering a few windows.
“You can’t stop me,” Savitar booms, clear and certain, “and Iris is going to die.”
With a final kick to his body, Savitar disappears.
The force of the kick sends Barry flying down the abandoned street, only stopping when his back skids into a car parked on the side of the road. The alarm goes off with a loud chirp, and then blares obnoxiously. He would curse but finds there’s no air in his lungs, finds his right leg is like lead and too heavy attached to his body. He knows he needs to run, that he needs to get out of there before someone investigates the sound, but he doesn’t know how he’s going to run on a broken leg, much less how he’s even going to stand up.
Barry cries out loud when a crippling pain bolts through him and he knows something is seriously wrong and he can’t freaking move.
Unconsciousness approaches from the corners of his vision and before Barry allows the darkness to take him he pleads with the only thing able to save him. He begs the Speed Force to give him some sort of strength, to take him home, to give him something. Before he knows what’s happening he feels himself running and then collapsing in Joe’s living room.
Barry wakes up the next day with a killer headache and a sprained leg instead of a broken one.
Iris and Cisco are both at his bedside when he wakes up and explain his injuries in a calculated matter before demanding how he got hurt. Barry tells them about meeting with Savitar but he doesn’t dare tell them who’s under the mask.
They can’t know. They can’t ever know.
Iris stares at him a moment too long as he’s spitting out his lie as carefully as he can and he can see the gears turning in her head as she opens her mouth to say something. Before she can, however; Joe, Wally and Julian walk in.
Wally is the first to see that Barry’s awake and a smile lights up his face and Barry’s gut churns with disgust with all he knows. All he’s learned. When Joe turns and sees him the relief that washes over his face is obvious and when Julian sees Barry, his lips twitch upwards in a soft smile.
Barry hates himself the more they look at him, and nearly loses the contents of his stomach when Iris kisses him on the forehead and tells him to get some rest and that she loves him.
He nearly cries when Joe leans down to give him a fatherly hug and Julian a pat on his shoulder. But what truly breaks him is Wally and the sight of seeing him walk away. When all five leave Barry alone to go get some food for themselves and for him, he sobs loud enough he’s surprised no one hears him.
The dim lights around him lure him to sleep after a while.
He relives her death twenty times in his nightmares.
A few more days pass.
Barry’s self-loathing is swallowing him alive, but he rather lie than come out with the truth. They’d probably lock him away, and even if they refused to do that, Barry would beg them to kill him. His leg’s better, only throbbing here and there.
Maybe he could change the future if he chopped it off.
The Flash, or even better Savitar couldn’t run with one leg, right?
Currently, Barry’s staring at his suit on the stand, Cisco and Julian bickering behind him. HR is presumably chatting up Tracy somewhere while Wally’s running a few laps around the pipeline. Joe’s at work and Iris is at home.
He can still change this, can’t he?
He can still change this future and stop Savitar from existing or from killing Iris or something, right? Jay told him the future is always changing, Barry knows the future is always changing and and something has to save her. Something has to change. He’s sure of it. He’ll make sure of it. His phone rings from his pocket, effectively breaking his thought process.
He digs around in his pocket and has it up to his ear by the second ring. He sees Iris’ name flash on the screen as he answers. “Hey.” He says, running his free hand through his hair.
She doesn’t answer him right away and Barry’s brows scrunch in confusion. All he can hear is labored breathing on her end and he’s already heading towards the elevator when she finally speaks. “Barry,” she whispers, “something’s wrong.”
His heart constricts at her words as he struggles to swallow the lump that’s formed in his throat. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“There’s a really bad pain in my stomach and I didn’t want to call you and freak you out unless it got really bad but then it got . . . really bad.”
That’s all Barry needs to hear before he’s flashing his way to their apartment. He gets there a few seconds later, stopping dead center in the middle of the living room. “Iris?” He calls, looking around.
He twists his body and heads for the bathroom when he hears her weak reply, barging through the doorway. Iris is slumped against the bathroom, holding her stomach and breathing heavily. Barry crouches down next to her, holding a hand to her head, “Hey, hey. It’s alright. You’re okay. I’m here.”
She opens her eyes, smiling when she sees his face before her.
Barry pulls back his hand, not detecting a fever, but her body is worked up and putting out a lot of excess heat. He rubs her arms, sending the most reassuring smile he can muster her way. She leans her body into his, one hand gripping his bicep and the other his hand. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t want to call but I just feel horrible. I’ve been nauseous all morning and then I just got sick a few times and now there’s a bad pain in the side of my stomach.”
Barry quickly looks over her, feeling his fears lessen when he sees nothing out of the ordinary. “Alright. It’s okay. Let’s get you to the bed, okay?” Iris nods against him and Barry doesn’t want to make her walk so instead he gently picks her up bridal style and carries her to the bedroom, carefully depositing her onto the sheets.
Then he flashes out to the kitchen to grab a glass of cold water and damp washcloth from the bathroom before returning to the bed. He kicks off his shoes and climbs in next to her, pulling the blanket up so it’s just over her knees, yet close enough that she can pull it up the rest of the way if she wants to. He passes her the cup of water, which she generously takes a few sips of, before placing it on the nightstand next to the bed and holding the washcloth to her forehead to try and cool her body temperature.
She takes it from his grip, holding it there herself as he grabs the remote for the television and turns it on. He flips through the channels for a bit, Iris’ empty hand finding his own and holding tight. When Barry settles on a channel he sits still for a moment before leaning over and giving her a tender kiss on the cheek. “I don’t think you’re sick.” He murmurs as she moves herself over so she can rest her head on his chest, “I think the takeout from last night just got to you because we ate so late. The pain in your stomach is from indigestion and strain. You’ll be good as new after a little bit of rest.”
She smiles, eyelids fluttering shut. “You don’t need to be at work or at the Lab?”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll call out of work and text Cisco.” She stirs against him, shaking her head.
“You shouldn’t drop everything just for me, Bear.” Her voice is drowsy, coated with exhaustion and stress.
“For you I can.” Barry retorts, Iris taking his stubbornness as an official answer as she finds herself dozing off into sleep.
He will save her, he amends, no matter what it takes.
Iris is, in fact, good as new within two days, though she finds herself incredibly sick in the mornings and before bed. She keeps that to herself though and things continue on as usual. Barry’s drying off his hair in the bathroom a few nights later, while Iris is busy typing up the conclusion to her latest article. Barry finishes with his hair and then goes to grab the brush off the counter, but it slips from his grip and falls to the floor next to the trashcan.
The clatter echoes all the way to the bedroom, where Iris looks up at the sound.
“Baby? You okay?”
“Yeah!” Barry says, leaning down and picking up the hairbrush, “Just dropped the brush.”
Iris resumes her typing but Barry freezes in his tracks when he sees something odd sticking out of the trashcan. Something pink stares back at him. He places the brush back on the counter and grabs the object, which is wrapped hurriedly with toilet paper, curiosity getting the better of him. Unwrapping it yields a pregnancy test hiding underneath, with a bright pink plus glaring at him from the end of the stick.
“Oh my God,” he mumbles, nearly falling backwards as he looks at the test.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. Not now. Not now.
He feels tears prick at his eyes because good God he’s going to lose them both to Savitar and he can’t stop it, but he blinks them away. He stumbles out of the bathroom and enters their bedroom with the pregnancy test in hand just as Iris finishes her article and snaps the laptop shut.
She looks up at him and when their eyes meet she knows her secret is out.
Barry’s clad in nothing but a loosely wrapped white towel around his waist from his shower a few minutes prior and his hair is a dishevelled mess. His eyes hold something Iris can’t describe. “Iris,” he whispers brokenly, holding the test up, “is this . . . is this true?”
Uneasiness clouds her stomach and worry obscures her mind.
“I’ve taken different tests from different stores within a twenty mile radius every night for the past week, Barry. They’ve all they’ve all said positive.”
Barry’s entire body shutters like it’s giving in on itself, like it’s about to shut down for good. He looks down at the test again and bites his lip when the plus seemingly burns into his very soul, before placing it on the dresser next to the doorway.
Running his hands through his hair flicks some leftover droplets of water around the room from the violent tug and Iris’ heart pounds a little faster. She doesn’t know if he’s mad or upset. There’s something going on in his head she can’t decipher. That fact alone unnerves her because he’s Barry Allen, he’s her other half, and she can read him and his facial expressions like an open book.
It unnerves her because she can’t read him; it’s like the book’s been closed under lock and key, the pages glued together, the ending ripped from the seams. Like the chapter on Barry Allen has been closed and the chapter on his ill-fated demise torn open.
“Jesus Christ, Iris,” he says, bringing her from her thoughts. “I-I-I don’t know what to ”
He pauses and rubs his hands over his eyes in a harsh matter. “I don’t know w-what to say I don’t know what to . . . what to do!”
His shout is unexpected. Iris stands up and walks towards him, getting close enough that she can take his clammy hands in her own. “Barry, I need you to calm down. We can’t talk about this if you ”
“What do we do now? How do we how do I p-protect ”
He tries to pull his hands away but her firm grip keeps him in place. Her ring burns against his hand. “Barry.” She demands, “Barry calm down. Do you hear me?” Their eyes lock and he feels his heavy emotions fade slightly. He takes a minute to calm himself, closing his eyes and just breathing for a while.
In-and-out, in-and-out, in-and-out, in-and-out, in-and
“Iris,” he mumbles, low and shaky, “Iris how am I going to save you both?” His eyes are still closed. His breathing is better, although still uneven. Iris sighs, gently coaxing his body into hers. His lanky body encases her own at the invitation, forehead coming to rest against hers. She wraps her arms around his back, feeling his muscles coil and fidget at her touch.
“I don’t know how to stop him.” He whispers against her forehead, eyes still shut. “I don’t know how to stop him.” He repeats, breath hitching.
“We’ll find a way, Barry.” His eyes finally open, dark pupils glossy with tears. One slips out his right eye and slides down his cheek, leaving a trail behind.
“I don’t want to lose you.” Barry says, so certain for somebody whose future has just changed in the non-ideal way. “Or the baby.”
She smiles she can’t help it, she’s going to have a baby with this man who she loves more than anything, horrible circumstances or not bringing her lips up to his. The kiss is desperate, and heartbreaking in a sense. It’s in no means a goodbye, but something does scream different in Iris’ brain.
She pushes the thought aside and deepens the kiss just enough to leave him wanting more before pulling away. He stares at her as his arms slowly snake around her lower waist. Iris guides him towards the bed, and he can’t help but smile when she almost trips halfway there.
But she gets there and falls backwards, Barry not hesitating at all before carefully climbing on top of her. They share another kiss and when they part she says something she believes with all her heart.
“We always find a way to survive.”
“Just kill me!” He screams in the pipeline one night, voice bouncing off the walls and resounding down the hallway. They’re alone at the Lab and Iris’ death-date is three days from now. They’ve visited the doctor and she’s having the baby and she’s gonna be a mom and he’s gonna be a dad and if Barry can’t stop Savitar Iris and the baby are dead. And Barry is Savitar and she just needs to kill him so that this cursed future can’t freaking happen.
Iris whips her head towards him, arms crossed and mouth pulled in a frown. “What?”
He turns towards her, tears highlighting his eyes. “Kill me! I’m Savitar! Savitar is future-me! He’s the Future-Flash!” Silence surrounds them for a long time. Barry shakes his head and takes a seat on the ground, raking his fingers through his hair.
Iris takes a seat next to him and breaks the silence with a hand on his knee.
“I’m Savitar,” Barry echoes, tears falling without restraint. “Something turns me twisted enough that I turn evil a-and and kill you.” She says nothing but keeps her composure. “I’m scared, Iris,” he whispers, and he goes to move his head and lean on her but something stops him.
Maybe it’s the part where he’s the twisted monster that stabs her through the heart.
Iris notices and without saying anything props her head against him, burying her face into the fabric of his shirt. She doesn’t understand how he could be Savitar. He could never. This Barry in front of her isn’t that thing. This is her Barry. This is her Barry who smells like firewood and peppermint. This is her Barry with the messy hair and kind eyes. This is her Barry with the genius brain and dorky smiles. This is her Barry.
Her Barry isn’t Savitar.
She hears a sob boil up inside of him but cease before it can pass his lips. “Iris I ”
“Savitar is not you. He’s a version of you, but he isn’t you. He isn’t you.”
Barry cries longer than he wants to.
Iris West is taken by Savitar and brought to the park three days later.
He holds her high like a prize while waiting for Barry to get there and within seconds it’s the same face-off Barry witnessed from all those months ago and this time, he’s the one begging. The claw is inches away from piercing her heart. Savitar isn’t listening or he’s listening and just ignoring. Barry doesn’t know what to do. Iris is crying, because damn if she didn’t try not to but she just can’t help it anymore, and she’s unable to get any words out.
Her eyes meet his and Barry feels a wave of emotions slam into him all at once and it just comes out before he can stop it. “Savitar! Stop! Stop. Please. She’s pregnant. You’ll kill them both!”
Savitar staggers. His claw lowers but he keeps a tight grip on Iris.
“Pregnant?” He wheezes in question, voice too weak to be categorized as a growl.
Barry takes a step forward, “Yes. Pregnant. So I’m begging you, I’m begging you Savitar, not to do this. You don’t have to do this.”
Savitar’s mind reels. His mind reels because he’s been through this future millions of times, because he is the future because this was his future once upon a time. But she was never pregnant. She was never pregnant. He could kill Iris West, and kill Barry Allen’s mind, but he couldn’t kill a baby. His baby. Their baby.
God, she’s pregnant.
“You don’t have to do this.” Barry repeats, and Savitar feels a shiver run up his spine. He doesn’t have to do this. He doesn’t have to be evil and take her away, again. But he is evil. He’s evil. He has to do this why is something he never asks he has to do this. He has to do this.
“Savitar.” He looks up and meets Barry’s eyes through the mask, “My kid’s in there, Savitar. I’m a dad. We’re in some way this happened, okay? This future changed. I love that woman and I love that kid and you can’t . . . not them. Not them. Not them.”
Savitar looks down at Iris and sees her stomach, sees the slight bulge. He can’t kill a kid. Can he? Then he looks over and sees Barry, sees how the suit around him is loose around his thin body.
Don’t do this.
Don’t do this.
Don’t do this.
Don’t do this.
Without any warning, Savitar turns and lunges, sealing their future.