Summary: Aquaman tries to woo Princess Diana, newest member of the Justice League. However, complications ensue. And why the heck is Batman always around? Oneshot.
A/N: So,I found a picture of Aquaman kissing Diana in “Queen of Fables”, saying “this is a job for a handsome prince.” I just thought that was hilarious, as Arthur’s always seemed to me an arrogant jerk. So, here’s a quick oneshot. Well, quick-ish. Batman and Wonder Woman romance, obviously. Fluff. Lots of fluff.
Don’t take this too seriously, people. This is a light-hearted oneshot.
Bruce will be a little lighter in this… partially because that’s how I’m used to writing him now, and also because he’s younger in this fic – in his mid to late twenties. Sort of like in “The Batman” cartoon series that was on a while back.
Disclaimer: Don’t own DC characters.
It was a strange understanding, but almost as soon as the League had been formed, everyone in the group knew that Wonder Woman was off limits… and under Batman’s protection.
Clark knew his friend wasn’t exactly the easiest person to get along with. Although Bruce was still in his mid-to-late twenties, he’d already gotten his multi-billion dollar company roaring back to life, had amassed quite a playboy reputation, and was frankly the most intimidating, terrifying person on the planet. Probably universe. Clark even wondered if he were fully human.
Diana, however, young (for an Amazon), and honestly naive when it came to men, was completely oblivious to the Dark Knight’s frightening aura. She would walk right up to him with a gorgeous, disarming smile and ask him a question about certain technology or the culture on earth. She was a sharp cookie, as his Ma phrased it, and that was one reason why Clark knew Bruce didn’t turn her away. No one in the League came close to being as smart as Bruce’s twelfth level intellect, but Diana came pretty darn close.
Clark even suspected that she knew Bruce’s identity, although she hadn’t revealed as much. But he saw her watching Bruce, saw her watching the TV when he and Lois had her over, and he could tell she suspected something, at least. However, she was new to “Man’s World” as she called it, and completely naive when it came to men, so he immediately introduced her to Lois. Thankfully, the savvy reporter was more than happy to show around the already famous Wonder Woman.
“They’re so confusing, I must admit,” Diana was saying to Lois one evening after dinner. Clark was typing up another story at the kitchen table, and Lois and Diana were in the living room, watching a romantic comedy.
“Who, men? Psh,” scoffed Lois. “Confusing, my ass. Just a bunch of testosterone-raging idiots, all of ’em. Sorry, honey,” she called out to Clark.
“Thanks, dear,” said Clark dryly.
Lois smirked at Diana and leaned forward to get her cup, then winced and held her stomach. “Oof. Stop kicking, baby.”
Diana quickly moved to help her. “Are you all right?”
Lois waved her off, smiling. “Oh, hon, I’m not an invalid, I’m just pregnant,” she said, amused. “Trust me, I’ll be fine. The baby just likes to kick. Strong little thing, like her Daddy.”
Diana looked down at Lois’s stomach. “Before I came here… I’d never seen a pregnant woman before… or a baby, for that matter,” she said quietly.
Lois smiled. “First time for everything, Di.” She took a sip of her tea. “Man, it’s nice to finally have a quiet night for once.”
No sooner had the words left her mouth when the doorbell rang. Lois rolled her eyes.
“Of course. Honey,” she started to say, but Clark was already at the door, glasses on his face. “You’re a peach,” Lois said with a snarky grin.
Clark grinned at her, then opened the door. “Bruce?” His voice dropped slightly. “What are you doing here?” His voice was almost accusatory.
Diana leaned back to see the stranger at the door. It was a tall man, almost taller than Clark – and definitely the most handsome man she’d ever seen. She’d seen his face plastered on magazines, and on the television. No mistaking that perfectly messed up, wavy black hair, that light scruff on his chin, and those flashing blue eyes and perfect white teeth. Bruce Wayne, billionaire. And apparently… Clark knew him.
“There are going to be some renovations made to the building over the next few weeks,” said Bruce, his voice a soothing, rich, deep bass. It sent shivers down Diana’s spine. “Just thought you should know. Also, I never did give Lois a baby shower gift.”
“Eh,” Lois said, shrugging. “You get one pair of baby shoes… Besides, I like picking out my own stuff.”
Clark stepped aside to let Bruce in. “Um, okay. Thanks for the head’s up.”
Bruce moved into the room and handed Lois a gift… and then his eyes fell to Diana, who was staring at him. Instantly, Bruce’s playboy grin came to life.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything. I’m Bruce Wayne, a friend of the Kents.”
Lois’s eyes narrowed as she watched Bruce stare at Diana.
Diana, although still new to Man’s World customs, took Bruce’s hand, ready to shake it. “Diana,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you.”
However, Bruce bent down and pressed a kiss to her hand, startling her. It wasn’t unpleasant by any means, just surprising. But his lips were warm and soft against her skin.
“Very nice to meet you, too,” said Bruce more quietly, but still with that playboy smile.
Lois glared at him. “I’m sure,” she muttered darkly.
But then, to everyone’s shock, Diana frowned, pulled her hand out of Bruce’s, and rose to her feet, taking Bruce’s face in her hands. With a strange frown on her face, she pushed Bruce’s cheeks in, around his mouth, and closed his mouth altogether in a firm line. Bruce was staring at her with wide, confused eyes, watching as Diana studied his jaw and mouth carefully, with great concentration.
“Hm,” she said, and finally pulled her hands away.
Bruce blinked, bewildered, and stared down at her.
Lois raised her eyebrows. “Um… okay then… Nice to see you, Bruce.”
“You, too,” he said, his sharp eyes never leaving Diana. After an awkward pause, he cleared his throat, rubbed his jaw, and straightened his sport jacket. “Nice to meet you, Diana,” he repeated. Turning, he brushed past Clark and shut the door behind him.
A pause. Then, Clark glanced at Diana.
“Uh… do I want to know what that was about?” he asked hesitantly.
Diana shrugged. “I just wanted to see something,” she said, looking perfectly innocent.
“Okay then…” Clark shook his head and returned to the kitchen.
But Lois had an idea of what that had been about. Clark really was thick sometimes. She grinned sneakily, took another sip of her drink. “Diana, what do you say we do a little interview tomorrow? Lunch?”
Diana smiled. “I’d like that. Thank you.”
Lois smirked behind her tea cup. If she was right, and she usually was… This would be interesting.
Lois took Diana to the nicest restaurant in Metropolis the next day, a restaurant with a table always reserved for her, as she and Clark were among their best and highest profile customers. After being shown to a table, Lois and Diana chatted, mostly about the baby, but Lois kept glancing around, wondering if she were actually right.
And then, of course, she was.
Lois felt a pair of eyes on them. She sneakily glanced over and noticed a man quickly covering his face with a menu. But she’d already seen him. She rolled her eyes. Bruce Wayne just being his paranoid self again. Or… something else, maybe. Clark had been telling her how protective Batman was of Diana, in the field and off. Even Flash had backed off Diana for the most part, Clark had told her.
“What a dolt,” Lois muttered.
Diana frowned, confused. “I’m sorry?”
“Oh, not you,” Lois hastily said. “Sorry, just… thinking. Anyways, what was that whole thing with you and Bruce Wayne? Why did you… grab his face like that? Not that it wasn’t the most hilarious thing to see Bruce Wayne flummoxed…”
Diana reddened and looked away. “He… reminded me of someone I know.”
“Someone? Tall, dark, and handsome?” Lois grinned, already knowing where this was headed.
Diana chewed on her lip. “Maybe.”
Lois hid a smile. “You know,” she said casually, “Clark’s been telling me that a certain Dark Knight has been acting… a little strange, even for him. That he’s been watching out for you.”
“Batman?” Diana was very red now. “He’s been helping me get accustomed to your customs and culture. He’s been… very helpful. He’s a close friend.”
“Mmm-hmm.” Lois had to resist rolling her eyes. Honestly, these two were perfect for each other. If only the prince of brooding would be smart enough to go after her before someone else stepped in first. “So… enough about men. What’s this about flying horses?”
Arthur Curry, otherwise known as Aquaman, thought he was quite the catch, if he said so himself. And he did. As a prince of Atlantis, heir to the throne, he could have any girl he wanted. Sure, some people thought his powers were silly, and yes, he did talk to dolphins on a regular basis, but really…
He was gorgeous!
However, he had not yet been invited to join the newly formed Justice League. It was not only a slight to his character and physical and mental prowess, but a downright insult, considering his reputation, both as a hero on earth and on Atlantis. And he was nearly a king – he should’ve been the first they had contacted! It was only by a matter of chance that he’d found out about the alien invasion too late… also might’ve had something to do with him flirting with that cute Ariel look-alike…
But that aside. He decided to march right on up to the Watchtower, so to speak, and set them straight. They needed him, desperately. But first… he needed to eat. He walked right into the finest restaurant in Metropolis, flashed the hostess a brilliant smile, and said, “A table for one. Unless you’d like to join me.”
The hostess blushed and giggled. “I’m sorry… I’m still on duty.” She took a menu and showed him to a small table. “Enjoy your meal,” she said, still blushing.
He grinned and eyed her. “I will.” But as soon as she left, he immediately eyed the restaurant to see if there were any decent girls around. He was about to give up hope when someone caught his eye. It was a goddess – the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He had to meet her. He rose, ran a hand through his tousled golden locks, and realized too late that she was dining with one of the most wretched – yet very attractive – women he knew: the fierce, take-no-prisoners Lois Lane. But he forced a smile and cleared his throat. “Lois!” he greeted. “What a nice surprise.”
Lois glared up at him. “It’s really not, Arthur.”
Arthur ignored her and turned to the other woman. “Arthur Curry,” he said. “You might know me as Aquaman… the prince of Atlantis.”
“I’m afraid I don’t,” said the gorgeous creature. “But it’s nice to meet you.” Her skin was softer than a dolphin’s belly, her eyes shining with the clearest shades of the tropical sea, contrasting perfectly with her rich, tanned olive skin. She had the look of immortal beauty.
“A goddess, truly,” he said with a blazing smile, bending over to kiss her hand.
Diana flinched, pulled away her hand. “I’m sorry… Have we met?”
“No, he’s just being an ass, that’s what,” Lois snapped, whapping him on the arm with her menu. “Beat it, fish sticks.”
Arthur rounded on her, glaring darkly. “Lois,” he said through his teeth. “I don’t believe I was talking to you. Unless you’d like to introduce me to your enchanting companion.”
Lois burst out laughing. “Oh my gosh, you are a few scales short of a full tail,” she laughed. “She’s Wonder Woman, you dolt!”
Diana raised an eyebrow, glancing between her and Arthur. “Um… Am I missing something?”
“No, he is,” Lois said, still laughing. “A brain.”
Arthur grit his teeth, then turned back to Diana. He smiled again, and opened his mouth to make a sharp retort, when a passing waiter holding a tray of food suddenly tripped, crashed right into him, spilling gravy and potatoes all over his hair and new shirt. Spluttering, Arthur stared in horror down at his clothes, and rounded on the waiter.
“You moron!” he snarled. “How dare you!”
“I’m sorry, sir,” the waiter stammered. “I didn’t mean to… it was an accident, I assure you…”
Arthur was about to try to have the man fired, when he saw a tall, dark figure slipping behind the waiter. And he saw Bruce Wayne shoot him an evil smirk over his shoulder. He’d tripped the waiter, damn him. Wayne had tripped the blasted waiter. But despite Wayne’s grin, Arthur swallowed. He saw a dark warning in Bruce’s cold eyes. Arthur remembered the last time he’d gone up against the Dark Knight, and needless to say… it had not gone… swimmingly.
But Arthur stiffened, and brushed more potatoes off his shirt. “No worries,” he gritted out. He forced another smile at Diana. “Perhaps, when you’re free, we can go out sometime. Here’s my card. Call me anytime.” He winked and handed her his official Aquaman card. Well… he had to leave an impression somehow.
“Well… thank you,” said Diana hesitantly. But she glanced over her shoulder, looking towards Bruce.
Arthur seethed, noticing Bruce shoot her a small, pleased smile. But then, the Dark Knight caught his eye.
Arthur growled under his breath and stormed out of the restaurant. Well, at least Wonder Woman had his card. Now he just needed to find a way to get her somewhere out of Batman’s reach…
Diana watched as Batman adjusted the sensors on Watchtower. She watched his careful, focused movements, his dedicated determination, and couldn’t help but admire his impressive physique. He rivaled Achilles and Heracles, certainly. Remembering her conversations with Lois and Shayera, she made her way up to him.
“Batman,” she asked, “what’s a date?”
Batman paused in his work. “Why do you want to know?” he demanded suspiciously.
“Shayera mentioned something about a ‘hot date’ with John. What’s a date?”
Batman sighed, muttering something about Shayera’s big mouth. “It’s where two people go out and do something together. It’s a shared romantic interest in one another.”
Diana tapped a finger to her lips. “Oh. What do you do on a date? Go somewhere hot? The Sahara, perhaps?”
“No. Well, not unless you wanted to. People usually go out to dinner… or a movie… something like that.” He sounded so uncomfortable talking about this.
“How intriguing. Have you ever gone on a date?” Diana was almost afraid of the answer.
Batman didn’t reply for a moment. “Yes,” he said finally. “But most of them meant nothing.”
“Most of them. Are you… do you go on dates now?”
“No. Not real dates.”
Diana beamed. “Will you go on a date with me, Batman?”
Batman now looked at her, and even with his cowl, she deciphered a few emotions: astonishment, fear, and resignation. He sighed, turned his gaze back to the monitor. “You don’t want to go on a date with me, Princess,” he said gruffly.
Diana frowned. “Why not?”
“Because… I’m not right for you.”
“Who says?” she demanded.
A pause. “I do,” he replied finally. “You’re a princess from a society of immortal warriors, and I’m a rich kid with iss -”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Bruce,” she interrupted him flatly, her eyes flashing.
His eyes narrowed behind his cowl, and his head tilted toward her. “I never told you my identity.”
“Oh, so you think I’m an idiot, is that it?”
Batman warily studied her agitated countenance, looking as though he wondered if… or when she’d throw him across the room.
“No, of course not,” he replied. “I just didn’t realize -”
“Save it, Bruce,” she sighed, and her shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry I disturbed you. I know you prefer to be alone… And Clark’s been telling me that men take the initiative… So… I’ll just leave you alone. I’m sorry.” And she turned, started to walk away.
“Diana,” Batman started, rising to his feet.
“No, it’s fine,” she said softly. “Aquaman expressed interest in me earlier, and I refused. Maybe I was too hasty in my judgment. I do have a lot to learn when it comes to Man’s World.”
Batman’s eyes widened behind his cowl. “Over my dead body!” he snarled, and stormed up to her, taking her arm.
Diana stiffened at his sudden shift in behavior. “I don’t understand, Batman.”
Batman’s fists clenched, and after a pause, he snapped, “Cameras and sound off. Lock doors.” Immediately the computer beeped, and to Diana’s surprise, he wrenched off his cowl, revealing his face for the first time.
Diana was unable to hide her astonishment. Her eyes were wide, and her lips parted as she studied his face carefully, her gaze roaming over his features: his strong jaw and cheekbones, his fine, straight nose, his clear blue eyes, and his hair all messed up and hanging in his eyes, sticking up in different directions due to his cowl.
There was a long pause.
Finally, he sighed, his jaw flexing. “Look… I’m not… good at this.”
She managed to find her voice. “Good at what?”
“This.” He motioned between them.
“Measuring space between two objects?”
“No… Dating.” The word even sounded strange coming out of his mouth. “Diana… I realize we’ve only known each other for several months…”
“Time is inconsequential to me, Bruce,” she told him softly. “I know you’ve been looking out for me. I was simply hoping… it might be more than that.”
Bruce sighed, rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve never been good at relationships.”
“I’ve never been in one.”
“Fine,” he said, sounding somewhat defeated. “Do you want to go out tonight?”
“Go out? Well, all right…”
“I realize this is new to you, considering…” Bruce trailed off and scowled at her, seemingly frustrated. “Do you even know what I’m asking you?”
“Yes! We’re going out. I assume on a mission. You didn’t say it was a ‘hot date’, so I’m assuming – ”
“No! That’s not what I meant,” he growled. “Could you please just… stop that?”
“Stop what?” Diana was sincerely confused.
“I meant – what I’m trying to say is that – I want to take you out.”
Now Diana frowned. “I don’t follow,” she said. “We go out all the time. We were just in Central City, out assisting Flash. Is it something urgent?”
He glared at her now, his eyes narrowing dangerously, and suddenly leaned towards her, his mouth only inches away from hers.
“No,” he said in a low voice. “You and me. Just you and me. Go out. Together. On a date.”
Diana blinked. “Oh.” She looked away for a second, then asked, “What about Aquaman?”
“Aquaman? What about him?” Bruce said shortly. “He’s a complete moron. There’s a reason we didn’t invite him to join the League.”
“But he gave me his card.” She took it out of her belt and held it up. “I wouldn’t want to be rude.”
“Yes,” said Bruce. “Trust me – to him, you would.”
Surprisingly, Lois had been quite calm when Diana told her about her impending date with Bruce. The only thing the pregnant reporter had muttered was: “About time.” And although Diana initially protested, as she had no money, Lois helped her pick out a dress – a backless, turquoise-teal dress that clung to Diana’s body and seemed to flow with her every movement. However, to avoid being recognized, Diana wore an auburn wig, done up in an early 1900’s hairstyle inspired by Rose from “Titanic”, a movie with which Lois was currently obsessed. Well, it was mostly with Leo Dicaprio she was obsessed.
“He is going to drop dead when he sees you,” Lois said, grinning.
Diana frowned. “I should change, then!”
Lois laughed. “Figure of speech, Di. He’ll love it.”
But it was hard for Diana to tell. She’d seen men looking at her before, but never like this… Not the way Bruce stared at her when she came out to meet him at his car. His entire body tensed, as if he were on his guard, but his eyes were so dark, so intense, that she wondered just what he was thinking. His jaw was clenched, and it almost didn’t look like he was breathing.
“Bruce? Are you all right?” Diana couldn’t help but wish she’d worn something else… a T-shirt and pajama pants were her new favorite garments.
He blinked, cleared his throat. “Fine. Never better.” He loosened his tie, tugged at his shirt collar, and opened the door for her.
The restaurant he took her to was definitely the most elegant Diana had ever seen, filled with well-dressed people and stiff-collared waiters. The hostess was practically falling over herself to help them – particularly Bruce. Diana shot an evil glare to the woman as she left, and then tried to focus on Bruce, who looked quite dashing. But although they were in a secluded part of the restaurant, Diana couldn’t help but wish she could talk with Bruce alone… with no one else around – except for perhaps Alfred, who had recently become a dear friend of hers.
They made small talk, but it was painfully obvious that neither was very comfortable.
After drinks had been served, Bruce’s phone beeped. He made the move to turn it off, but did a double take when he saw the screen. He hesitated, looked up at Diana, and slowly returned the phone to his belt.
She gave him a look. “Robbery or gunfight?”
He glanced up, startled, and then seemed to realize there was no point. “Gunfight. Looks like it’s a mob fight.”
Diana scoffed, fell back into her chair. “Bruce, I don’t know who wants to be here less – you or me. This place is stuffier and more claustrophobic than my mother’s old chest of armor. That silly hostess girl keeps peering in on us – most likely to spy on you, everyone else is staring at you, likely wondering if I’m your next ‘fling’ as Lois calls them, and this wig is driving me crazy.”
Bruce looked around at the restaurant for a moment, then glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, a devilish expression on his face.
“Want to get out of here?”
Diana threw down her napkin. “Hera, yes.”
She and Bruce practically jumped to their feet; and after Bruce tossed a wad of bills on the table, he grabbed her hand, and together they all but raced out of the restaurant. As they passed by a startled waiter, who fumbled for something to say, Diana smiled.
“Thanks for everything!” she called.
“It was delicious,” Bruce added, before they rushed outside.
Once they were in his car, Diana laughed and said, “Bruce, we didn’t even eat anything.”
He shrugged and loosened his tie, eventually yanking it off. Diana ripped off her troublesome, itchy wig and shook out her long, sleek hair. She didn’t notice Bruce’s gaze burning into her, watching her every movement.
“Did you bring your suit?” he asked, his voice strangely deep and throaty.
“No,” she said with a brilliant, sheepish smile. “I can transform into my suit when I want to.”
He glowered at the road ahead. “Of course you can. Well, suit up, Princess. Long night ahead.”
At his words, Diana found herself strangely shivering with excitement.
Several hours and several mob feuds later, all resolving with many unconscious thugs and arrests, Diana and Bruce sat on one of Gotham’s rooftop, overlooking the city below. Bruce had his cowl off, and Diana had pulled off her tiara and boots, leaving her bare legs and feet that were crossed over each other as she leaned over, peering down at the traffic. She took another couple fries and then a sip of her milkshake.
“I can’t believe you’re not cold,” said Bruce, eyeing her bare legs and arms. “It’s freezing out here.”
She shrugged. “One of the many advantages of being an Amazon, I suppose.” She glanced down at one of the store windows far below. “Lois was saying it’s almost Christmas.”
“Yep. Only a couple more weeks.” Bruce took a huge bite of his burger.
“It’s been eight months since I first came here. Time flies, as Wally says,” she mused.
She glanced over at him. “Don’t talk so much,” she said dryly.
He was still chewing, so he simply shrugged and waved his burger at her.
Feeling a bit mischievous and giddy at the fact that she was actually going on a date with Bruce, Diana took off the top of her milkshake, grabbed a cold, sloppy handful of ice cream, and threw it at Bruce. It hit him directly on his face. He froze, and she couldn’t help but giggle. After a moment, however, he slowly turned his face toward her. It dripped with the ice cream. And the smile left her face.
Uh-oh. She knew that look.
“Bruce… Bruce, no!” She let out a shriek as he lunged forward, his own milkshake in hand, and smushed thick ice cream all over her face. She struggled, but it was no use. She took the rest of her milkshake and dumped it onto his head. He hovered over her, actually laughing, and that deep, vibrating, heartfelt laughter sent shivers up her spine. As she tried to lick the ice cream around her mouth and wipe it out of her eyes, she looked up to see him grinning down at her.
Still laughing, Diana gasped out, “You are such a -”
But he quickly leaned down and covered her lips with his.
“Batman?” squeaked Arthur. “BATMAN? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” he shrieked, shaking John Stewart vehemently.
John glared at him and shoved him away. “I mean that they’re together,” he snapped irritably. “Batman. And Wonder Woman. Are. Going out. Got that, Flounder-Boy?”
Arthur was turning red. “No. No. You’re lying. They’re not together. He’s dark, and evil, and -”
John laughed. “Seriously? She’s thousands of years old, to start. And she can handle herself, in case you haven’t noticed – although since it’s you, I’m sure you have. Get over it, Fish-Boy.” He lightly punched Arthur in the shoulder. “Batman’s a sly dog, and Diana’s crazy about him. I’m sure you’ll find someone else.”
Arthur let out an furious bellow. “I WANTED HER!” he roared. “IF YOU HAD INVITED ME TO JOIN THE JUSTICE LEAGUE IN THE FIRST PLACE -”
“Firstly, Diana and Bruce were basically together from day one,” John snapped, irritated. “And secondly… that’s one of the reasons we didn’t invite you, and will never invite you to the League. Get over it.”
Arthur was shaking, turning as puffy and bloated as a puffer fish. “SOMEDAY!” he screamed. “SOMEDAY!”
Yeah, this was not mean to be serious at all. But the past week or so has been rough, so I’ve been needing to write some light-hearted, silly fluff.